On the Mark Branding

I lost last night, but I feel like I really won.

And I don’t mean in a martyr, sort of way. I really do feel like I won because I’m able to see what I learned. I can see how the experience helped my confidence and opened my eyes to more possibilities. And I realize there was something about the process itself that was fulfilling. Did I really lose after all?

Last night I competed in our local Toastmasters Division B International Speech Contest. I was up for my third “win” after winning at my club level, and then the “area” level. But the competition was stiff, and in the end, my name wasn’t announced.

I’ve been a member of Century City Toastmasters for over seven years, and never competed in a speech contest. In fact, I never competed that much in general and I don’t consider myself that competitive. Never played sports to a large degree; board games were fun, but I didn’t mind losing, as long as we had fun. (Perhaps, I’ve felt a little competitive at swing dancing, but that’s another story.) So that’s about as far as the memory goes on the subject. I do know, though, that I’m happy when others win. In fact, my whole business is built around helping people win, succeed and achieve their dreams. But why wasn’t winning myself as important?

This speech contest brought up something new in me. Over the last couple of months, since this process started, I noticed a new level of confidence building in me; a bigger boldness; a wider “wanting”. And, I have to admit, I even started feeling a little competitive. I wanted to win. Not only did I want to win the contest, but it opened my eyes to more opportunities where I could win in my life.

It’s not that I’m not “a winner” already; I’ve done well in my life. But I’ve always wanted more, and this speech contest, in its own way, reminded me that I could still have more. It opened my eyes again to the excitement and possibility of having more of what I want in my life. It inspired me.

So now what? What’s one to do with this excitement and inspiration, combined with mixed feelings of losing this contest? As I look back, there was a lot of learning in the process. What’s that saying? “It’s not about winning, but it’s how you play the game?” Yes, for me it was about the process; the experience. It was how I played the game indeed. Was I out to win, or merely show up? I know I was really out to win this time.

• Throughout the process I was intentional. I wrote my speech early, practiced more than usual and really raised the bar on my preparation and planning.
• I got excited. I spent time visualizing about winning and moving through the contest levels, and getting better and better and learning more and more.
• Determination showed up more than ever. I felt a fresh sense of determination that I hadn’t felt in a long time. (Dare I say I’m feeling competitive now?)
• And the feelings of appreciation for other’s talents and skills, as well as gratitude for the support of friends and family kept me grounded in what’s really important in life.

These pretty basic practices and disciplines led me down the path of winning. I am grateful for these simple reminders of what it takes to get more from life.

So I know now that I really didn’t lose. In fact, I think I was the biggest winner of all.