The Metaphor of a Tourist in Thailand

“Taxi? Umbrella? Massage?” Walking around the neighborhood, near our Bangkok hotel, offers a variety of, well…opportunities! I’ve been a tourist in several different countries over the last 20 years, but this particular trip is creating new experiences, especially since it is my first time in Southeast Asia and Thailand.

Today we walked to the beautiful Mandarin Oriental Hotel, and then hired a boat taxi to take us to The Grand Palace. Yesterday we discovered more of the city via the “skytrain.” Then we had a massage! The day before we walked the neighborhoods full of modern skyscrapers next door to ancient, run-down buildings and homes. Tomorrow will bring a well-deserved foot rub!

While burning a lot of calories walking in the 95-degree heat and 56% humidity, I found myself focused on my uncomfortable, very-heated state, longing for air-conditioning and a cool drink. I also noticed I had had this feeling before…wanting to escape the heat. But where? Buenos Aires? Barcelona? Barstow? No! It was in my home office in LA. I began to see the metaphor of being a tourist and an entrepreneur! This wasn’t the first time I wanted to feel better and avoid the discomfort.

Running my own business has often vacillated between a walk in the scorching heat and a nice cool drink; between comfort and discomfort. Comparing my entrepreneurial experience to my time in Thailand, I began to see a metaphor, reminding myself of what it takes to have the business I want.

1. Get Ready to Sweat. In business, as in Thailand, especially off-season, you’re going to sweat. Accept it. Unless you never go outside, you’re just going to sweat. If you never take a risk or change-up your offerings or get out in the world to network, speak and/or write, you’re going to sweat. In fact, in business, you’re going to sweat either way. In the good times, you’ll perspire a bit around your next service or product launch. In the rougher times, you’ll sweat a lot (like me in Thailand this week!), so get ready. It often gets sticky as an entrepreneur, but in the end, if you’re willing to sweat, you’ll have a better chance of arriving smelling sweet.

2. Have a Good Map. In other countries I’ve visited, it has been helpful to know and be able to say a handful of words in their language, as well as decipher signs, directions and menus a bit. But the Thai language is very different, so a detailed map is even more critical. It’s the same in business for me. No matter how many times I think I have solid plans in my head, I always experience more success and good times when I have a written vision and plan. Writing these down is critical to having the business I want. I update my vision at least twice a year, if not more, then create a plan. If you don’t have a written vision, write one. Secondly, break it down into tangible chunks or steps at least month-by-month. Then, solid action is the key (which my coach helps me focus on). I have a good map with me in Thailand. But I also know it is not going to do me much service, if I don’t step outside and be willing to sweat even more.

3. Know Your Niche. Taxi drivers in this touristy neighborhood know their niche. They are passionate about getting us tourists into their vehicle. That’s it! A very narrow and specific niche: tourists that will pay to go somewhere.

These taxi drivers know where their target market frequents, what time of the year and day “we” show up, and even what we look like! (Yes, a very white farm boy from the mid-west carrying a map is probably a tourist!) If these taxi drivers didn’t focus on a niche, they’d be driving all over the city looking for just anyone. Instead, they market to those who need them the most, and are willing to pay for it. Who is your niche? Who needs your expertise?

Having a very specific niche is key to a successful business plan, so include it in your vision. Marketing to just anybody is not the key. Research it, consider it, and then decide on a niche. If you already have one, consider making it even more specific. Deciding on a natural niche that you enjoy, will also make your marketing easier, as well as save you time and money. What could be better?

4. Enroll Like the Best. The taxi drivers and other local business owners here are great enrollers (business builders). When I really began listening to their technique, I was amazed.

At first, I only hear “Taxi!” or “Massage!” That is easy to ignore if I’m not interested. But then, they walk behind me, trying to catch my personal attention: “Taxi?” It is still easy to say or signal a firm “No.” But then I hear “Where are you going?” or “What can I help you find?” What do I do with that? It is not a simple yes or no question this time! It seems they really want to help me or get to know my needs. (Okay. Yes, I know what you are thinking, but let’s just assume for a minute they are sincerely interested!) Whatever the motive, they want to engage me in conversation. That is the first step of effective enrollment. What if we just stood around yelling, “Coach?” “Need a speaker?” “Hey, I’m a consultant!” “Here’s my new book!” “Car wash?” How effective would that be?

What Bangkok taxi drivers and street vendors have reminded me about this week is to ask questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no. “What is your dream?” “What’s next?” “If you could have it another way, how would you want it?” Enrollment is an authentic conversation, not a product pitch. (Except for maybe taxi drivers!)

5. Show Appreciation. The Thai people have a gracious and service-oriented way about them. And they don’t seem to be in a hurry, unless it’s about you. Every time we exit our hotel, pay our check at a restaurant, or, and even yes, get out of a taxi, it is with a sincere, in-the-eyes “thank you,” and a bow. I haven’t studied the culture enough to know the history of this custom, but it’s very endearing. It inspires me to be more appreciative about every encounter or exchange. It reminds me about the importance of a sincere thank you, and taking those extra few seconds to show it. As an entrepreneur working to make it all happen, it’s so easy for me to move too fast, or not be present in the moment. What I’ve learned here is to stop more often and show my appreciation.

The Thai culture also reminds me to slow down. They make time to enjoy, relax and even have frequent massages or foot rubs. (I can’t wait for that second massage tomorrow!) They inspire me to take more time…to remember my client who had a new workshop this last weekend; and another, getting ready to publish her first book; and someone else in midst of building his brand online. I wonder how they are doing? How can I show my appreciation more? What if we all slowed down a bit, said “thank you” more…and paused…just those few extra seconds?

Opportunities indeed abound, whether in my temporary Thailand neighborhood or in our everyday businesses. Whether you are a coach, speaker, author or taxi driver, there are many keys and steps to creating the successful business that you want. But for now, since this is my metaphor, consider these five: be willing to do what it takes even if it means having to sweat, create a vision and plan, decide on a clear niche, know how to engage clients and most of all, take time to care for yourself and others.

Unless, of course, it is time for your massage!

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Do you ever feel you have to be someone else in business as compared to your personal life? Do you find yourself being different around certain people or in special situations? What if you could just “be you” all the time?

Being 100% authentic is natural for many people, and for others, it takes a lot of guts, personal practice and persistence. Perhaps authenticity is a key ingredient that separates extroverts and introverts. In my early years, I always felt like an open book and that I had a realistic picture of myself. I felt “real.” However, somewhere along in life after college I closed up. I felt I needed to wear my “professional hat” at work, my “party hat” with friends and my “good boy hat” with my family. It got very confusing, but it made me really look at who I wanted to be both personally and professionally.

After quite a few years of trying to be who I thought I should be, I decided to take a step back and test what it would be like to just be me, including all of my greatness, as well as my quirks. Eventually that test became my way of being. I want to be clear that it was not an overnight decision. It is not as if I just had a task to check-off on my “to do” list. It was a process over the last few years, and probably many more years sub-consciously.

A Deeper Sense
If you are a self-aware person, you are probably in touch with some “truths” about yourself. If you’ve done some personal development work, coach-training, therapy, faith-based education or spiritual training, you probably have a deeper sense of who you are; your purpose, your calling, your mission. In that learning are truths about the real and authentic you, and the power that it can create in your life.

Stepping into entrepreneurship, I learned ten-fold that being truly authentic is the secret to building a business that works. As I brought authenticity into my speaking and writing, I got more credibility and attention, as it also became easier and more fun for me. I learned that if I dropped my made-up perspective of “professionalism” and formal business behavior and language, and got more real and personal, that my clients and colleagues connected with me more. I am not encouraging the loss of manners and appropriateness. Instead, find the balance between your authentic self, honoring your true essence, while stepping into and being the businessperson you really want to be.

He Just Wanted to Be Himself
My father passed away recently. As I reflected back on his life and our relationship, I realized how I learned the value of authenticity from him. He never held back his thoughts, opinions, criticisms or compliments. He just said it like it was for him. Appropriateness was not always his strength, but you always knew where he stood and what he wanted. It served him well in the fast-moving car business in Chicago for many years. As he aged and mellowed, it also served him well in his personal relationships. He listened well, and then he spoke his truth. He didn’t want to be anyone else but himself. I admired that.

As we build our brands in business, authentically is critical to the design. When people get that you are authentic, they instantly connect with you. That’s a guarantee! How many people have you met who felt phony? It’s natural to see and feel the lack of authenticity in some individuals. You’ll probably notice that you don’t connect. You may be intrigued for other reasons, but you probably don’t engage from your heart and would be skeptical about doing business with them. It’s the lack of authenticity.

On the other hand, when you meet someone that is genuine and real, you know it. You naturally want to get to know them better, learn more about them; and most likely, you easily trust them. That’s authenticity, which needs to be the major player in your business branding and marketing. People connect with (and do business with) authentic individuals and honest businesses.

No Hype to Conjure Up
If you are consistently authentic across the board from your “beingness” to your branding and marketing, you’ve captured your core essence that will attract your perfect target audience. And the good news here is that coming from this truly authentic place, greatly helps keep your branding and marketing efforts easy. There’s no hype to conjure up and no spin to create. You just get to be you all the time, speaking and marketing from your heart in a very natural way. What could be easier?

I lost last night, but I feel like I really won.

And I don’t mean in a martyr, sort of way. I really do feel like I won because I’m able to see what I learned. I can see how the experience helped my confidence and opened my eyes to more possibilities. And I realize there was something about the process itself that was fulfilling. Did I really lose after all?

Last night I competed in our local Toastmasters Division B International Speech Contest. I was up for my third “win” after winning at my club level, and then the “area” level. But the competition was stiff, and in the end, my name wasn’t announced.

I’ve been a member of Century City Toastmasters for over seven years, and never competed in a speech contest. In fact, I never competed that much in general and I don’t consider myself that competitive. Never played sports to a large degree; board games were fun, but I didn’t mind losing, as long as we had fun. (Perhaps, I’ve felt a little competitive at swing dancing, but that’s another story.) So that’s about as far as the memory goes on the subject. I do know, though, that I’m happy when others win. In fact, my whole business is built around helping people win, succeed and achieve their dreams. But why wasn’t winning myself as important?

This speech contest brought up something new in me. Over the last couple of months, since this process started, I noticed a new level of confidence building in me; a bigger boldness; a wider “wanting”. And, I have to admit, I even started feeling a little competitive. I wanted to win. Not only did I want to win the contest, but it opened my eyes to more opportunities where I could win in my life.

It’s not that I’m not “a winner” already; I’ve done well in my life. But I’ve always wanted more, and this speech contest, in its own way, reminded me that I could still have more. It opened my eyes again to the excitement and possibility of having more of what I want in my life. It inspired me.

So now what? What’s one to do with this excitement and inspiration, combined with mixed feelings of losing this contest? As I look back, there was a lot of learning in the process. What’s that saying? “It’s not about winning, but it’s how you play the game?” Yes, for me it was about the process; the experience. It was how I played the game indeed. Was I out to win, or merely show up? I know I was really out to win this time.

• Throughout the process I was intentional. I wrote my speech early, practiced more than usual and really raised the bar on my preparation and planning.
• I got excited. I spent time visualizing about winning and moving through the contest levels, and getting better and better and learning more and more.
• Determination showed up more than ever. I felt a fresh sense of determination that I hadn’t felt in a long time. (Dare I say I’m feeling competitive now?)
• And the feelings of appreciation for other’s talents and skills, as well as gratitude for the support of friends and family kept me grounded in what’s really important in life.

These pretty basic practices and disciplines led me down the path of winning. I am grateful for these simple reminders of what it takes to get more from life.

So I know now that I really didn’t lose. In fact, I think I was the biggest winner of all.

Okay, so I’ve been planning my second blog post for just over two years. There I admit it. I could have positioned that span of time as a long-term blog strategy plan, but no one would buy that. Then, before I could stop myself, I realized I was updating my Facebook status about my blogging delay. “Why did I just do that?” I thought, as I watched my iPhone display “Updating.”And just as I was settling into a beautiful Sunday in LA, my former boss FB’d me to say “just write, don’t think.” Okay Jeff, here goes.

I can’t believe I’m not blogging more. I’m constantly pushing my entrepreneurial clients to blog, but I’m not doing it myself. Oh, believe me, I’ve got quite a few written in my head, and lots of ideas captured in OneNote, but they just don’t make it to the big screen (uh, my big monitor). So as I’m trying to start now, I see Facebook updates coming in, Catie is texting me about getting together this afternoon, and I see Lee has left me a voicemail about helping him with his next speech. What’s a guy to do? Continue to look for more excuses? (I’m really good at that!) Besides, if I actually get this done, it would also accomplish my 500-words-a-week writing goal, making my personal coach very happy.

What I’m really loving about social media is the authenticity that is emerging from it. With less time to say it right, spell it right or be witty on a dime, it creates an easy opportunity for people to be real. Long gone is formal communication and inauthenticity, and here to stay is real people talking real stuff. It’s so much easier to be ourselves. Besides, people want to experience, work with and hire people that are honest, upfront, authentic (I’ll be using that word a lot, so don’t complain) and real. They want to hire individuals that show up 100%. I happen to believe that most people are attracted to others that don’t hold anything back; that are full-out authentic…like, what you see/hear/experience, is what you get. Authenticity has become the top priority in branding, marketing, advertising messages and individual personal brands for many. Major corporations are rebranding and changing their advertising strategy to build trust more than ever. Direct mail and e-mail marketing campaigns now speak in plain, simple language, with a very personal approach. CEOs around the world have blogs, so that customers can get to know the real people, and just not the Big Blue logo.

I think that’s why I took so long to post again. I made-up that if I’m a business coach and mentor to solo-entrepreneurs, that work with them on their branding and marketing, that I’ve got to have all my stuff put together. It took me too long to launch my new website, because (aside from managing my perfectionism that said it had to be the ultimate site for entrepreneurs) I was trying to figure out how I would “be” on my site. Does my writing and bio come out formal, structured, perfectly written, corporate-feeling and polished (with the appropriate number of carefully-placed keywords no less)? Or can I just be Brad and write from the place of my true authentic self, in a casual, funny and witty way (no comments please) while hopefully engaging prospective clients or at least inspiring visitors to take some action toward their dreams. I did get done, but I must admit, that it took me three rounds of major rewriting to satisfy the “perfectionist”, the search engines and my brand that kept calling the real me forth. In the end, I launched feeling very authentic and satisfied. I don’t always have it together, but I’m learning that as long as I am authentic, my status is good.

So it looks like the excuses, the perfectionism and the fear of not doing it right didn’t get in the way to finish this post. Gotta go update my FB status, see Catie and call back Lee. Thanks Jeff.